~ Updated Pitch for Critique ~


Hello Everyone,
I am taking part in a Pitch Contest!

I recently posted my pitch up yesterday to be critiqued and I got a few suggestions and such for edits. I went through them and worked on the pitch some more. I narrowed it down to one now… let me know what you think and if there are any other spots that I could improve it. Thank you,


Dustin starts training with his uncle to become a Preventer of sinister things, while a maleficent witch begins a revolt. The king fears for his daughter and unborn grandchildren’s lives so he calls upon Dustin to protect them as their hearts would complete the witch’s collection which is kept in her necklace – the mason of hearts, which would make her undefeatable.

Dustin is captured by a stranger with a dark secret – an affectionate bond forms between the two, and they must enter the witch’s game of hide-n-seek with life and death to protect the king’s grandchildren and to refresh the people’s lives or many will die, including him.

Hello Everyone,


My story’s hook: 

When Dustin leaves home to train with his uncle, a strange person shows up with a mysterious message throwing him into a magical adventure playing hide-n-seek with life and death.  (What do you think?)

It’s been a few days since I last posted. Sorry it’s been awhile. I really hate it when I can’t blog because I am busy. This will just be a quick update as I have to get some other things done, I love the picture up above.

I have been working on a query letter for my book. This week will be another busy week. Here is my to do list.

  1. Write 3 guest blog posts
  2. Send guest posts in and cross my fingers
  3. Aim at writing 14,000 words for my book from 13-19th (WISH ME LUCK… also if you could be praying for me, it would really mean a lot as in this book I will be digging deep.)
  4. Looking for a job
  5. Get farther in reading the new book I bought! I really love it so far!! :) It is written by Kate Morton (an Australian writer.) Check the book out!  Watch the video!
  6. Work out! (as I read in this blog entry what good is it being a bestselling writer and flunking out of life… I don’t want that! I want to be healthy.) Read it! :)

Writing fight scenes… how do you do it?

Do you have any url sites for me that I could look at?

I will be writing some fight scenes with magic in them and any help on fight scene writing would be greatly appreciated