Today I woke up to snow. :) Just possibly, we might have a WHITE Christmas. I really do hope that we do! :) It would be lovely. My sister and I went shopping together in Fargo today. It was a lovely last day of Christmas shopping. We found some sweet things. You know, I never realized how lucky I am… well, not
lucky, but Blessed I am. I have all I would want for Christmas this year. I have a Lord and Savior who came to earth to die just so that I could know peace and live everyday for him, while being a light of his to the world. I have a family who believe in me and love me. They have encouraged me, my whole life. “Devin, you can do anything that you want to. The sky is the limit.” And you know what? They were right. I have a sister and brother who I love heaps and are two of my best friends, no actually, they ARE my two best friends. They mean the world to me. Life without them would have been quite different for me. That little sister who I always loved telling stories to, telling her about things and why the world was a certain way- only for her to find out later that I was using my imagination quite a bit. The little sister who played the “Second Best” parts in the plays I put on for family. That little sister who said she saved me when I fell off the inner-tube at swimming lessons. :) That little brother of mine who had an imagination bigger than the world. The ‘put’ ‘put’ of his little cars and trucks and the ‘psh’ ‘psh’ of his little plastic army men.
We did everything together, we traveled the country with Mom and Dad. Not a day goes by that I miss those little siblings… even though they are here still today and whenever I see them, I still see those 2 sweet faces that grew up with me and loved and even sometimes loved to hate (only sometimes). I am so happy that they are both here still for me in life and that no matter what happens in the future – that they will still be there for me.
I am also so blessed for such an amazing mother and father. I know that I wasn’t ever a perfect child (and who is?), but I am grateful that my parents raised me the way they did. They taught me many things about the world, the Lord, Love, and people in the world. I know that sometimes I may be short or snappy with them, but all in all, I haven’t ever meant it. I deeply and greatly thankful for them the whole way- back to every diaper changed, and hot cocoa made for me. I love them so much! :)
There is someone else that has made it into my thankful list, he is new to my list of thankfullnesses… His name is Johan. I met him over a year and 3 months ago. He has become a huge part of my life and I am very thankful for him as well. He has encouraged me, hugged me, loved me, written me love notes and cared about me for 1 year and I feel like I’ve known him longer. I look forward to spending more years together. I greatly love him. This year we spent together was filled up with many great memories that I hold very dear to me from painting on the beach, ballet on the beach :P and deep conversations and even some funny conversations (That only we would ever talk about – don’t try guessing! LOL… you will never guess correctly.) Many thousands of skype dates and facebook notes. Many tears and many moments of laughter & Joy as well. A trip through America and building our relationship to last throughout any storm, since we were made to bare through it as we were separated by that blasted ocean. Right now he is in South Africa. He spent the first few weeks with his brother and his fiance. He is now at his sister’s house celebrating Christmas with them and his grand-parents. I am happy that he got to spend time with them and pray that they have a great time together. :) In 9 days, I will see him again. It almost feels weird to say that, because it’s been sooooo lonng since I last saw him. I will be meeting him in Singapore. “Am I nervous?” you ask.
“Yes, I am!” I really don’t know what this year holds. I do know that it holds me entering a journey that is unmarked. I do know that I will write and that I WILL find an agent this year. I know that I will look for a job (And will find one- a good one!) in Australia, and that I will find an apartment to stay at.
I will get to spend an amazing year in Australia with Johan. Which, I am very excited about!!
My comfort spot is always a tough thing to break though. I am comfortable, right now sitting on my parents couch at 3 am writing in my baggy sweater and sweat-pants…. this is such a big world, am I ready to take it on? Am, I Devin Berglund ready? Because God has something big for me in my life.
It’s like the moment I went to Mexico all by myself when I was 14 on a mission trip – I secretly didn’t want to leave home. I wanted to stay home with Momma, Daddy, Tony, and Cassidy. I didn’t want to leave.
Just the same with the time that I graduated from High-School and when my dad teared up at my graduation speech… I also did too. I didn’t want to leave them all and go to college. but I had too….
Just like the night I moved into my dorm as a freshman at MSUM, I cried myself to sleep that night. I didn’t want to be staying in a dorm with someone i didn’t know. I wanted to be with them.
Just the same when I started thinking about studying abroad in Australia and I kept telling myself no.
Daddy told me to do it – so I did.
The moment we brought my sister to Milwaukee Ballet for a summer intensive (seems like yesterday) I didn’t want to leave her there. I loved her too much, I didn’t want her there, I wanted her- here with me.
The moment I left to board my plane and my mom broke into tears- that moment, i didn’t want to be leaving to Australia on a life time adventure… I wanted to be staying with all of them.
So, life continues throwing at us new adventures were we wont be in our comfort-zone and I hate writing that, because I don’t want to. I want to say- don’t sweat it. It’s a piece of cherry pie. But, then I would be lying and I don’t want that.
I am excited about going to Australia again, although I am torn. I really love Johan and I miss him. I will miss my family a lot! I know that God has a lot of interesting stuff ahead and I know that we all must grow up. Even though, I wish we didn’t have to. But, I don’t want to grow up and live in the play-house either (Guess, what? I had actually said that once!) haha!!! :P
Peter Pan “I wont grow up.”
I, have come to terms that I, Devin Berglund am a blessed girl and that I am LUCKY. I was given everything I need and I have it. So, really people- I wouldn’t need anything for Christmas this year, because I am happy!
P.S. Sorry, Mom… while writing this I was thinking… Momma, is going to read this, I hope she doesn’t cry… So, I am sorry if it made you cry at all. I don’t like seeing you cry, but I wanted to write the truth. I am soooo thankful for everything you did in my life. Thank you for listening to my kindergarten teacher when she told you that tid-bit of information. I am so happy you let me morph into the creature that I am and who God made me- Because of that, I am writing, I have a lovely family that I LOVE DEARLY, and because of that I have a man i love and who loves me too.
I LOVE YOU MOMMA!
Thank you everyone, my readers… I am thankful for all of you as well.
Hope you all, already have what you need this Christmas!!
“The Reason For The Season Was Born In A Manger.”